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Top 5 fears of moving abroad alone. And how to get over them.
Whether you're about to go on your first ski season or you’re moving to another country to explore or even teach English, you’re more than likely going to be going by yourself, alone, maybe even for the first time! Exciting? … or ….. Incredibly terrifying?
Deciding to move abroad alone to a foreign country is a big decision so it’s only natural that you’ll feel scared, you’re not the only one. Take it from someone who’s been there, it isn’t as scary as it first seems.
The problem only arises when you let this fear rule your life. Speaking of problems, they will happen. The trick is to go with the flow, working things out as they happen, in most cases you’ll be surprised how simple the solution is! Let’s get you ready for your big adventure!
Are you feeling totally overwhelmed? Let’s talk about some of the fears you may have and find solutions one by one. Below you’ll find a list of 5 main fears that people have when they are moving to another country alone. I’ve been through them all, and I still love moving my life to new countries!
1. What if you don’t make any friends?
The fear of being alone suddenly gets real when you decide to leave everyone you love in search of bigger and better things. This doesn’t mean that they disappear. Your current friends love you and will support you all the way. If they’re your true friends, they will want you to chase your dreams!
Making friends is something most of us don’t even think about, we accept it as a simple life skill, until we decide to move to a country where we don’t speak the local language. Some of us are better than others at being alone in our own company too, but we all have to admit that life is a heck of a lot more enjoyable when you have friends to share it with. The important thing to remember is that there are lots of people in your situation as well.
You have two options. Find fellow travelers, or learn the basics of the local language and find yourself some local friends!
How do you do this?
If you’re planning a ski season, you’ll be living in a ski resort full of like-minded people who love the snowy mountains as much as you do! So if you’re joining a course you’ll be surrounded by by people who will naturally become your friends, or perhaps you’re planning on becoming a chalet host working and living with the same people all the time who you’ll soon consider family. Maybe you’re planning to get a job in a bar, hotel or retail shop, you may be living separately to people you work with but you’ll more than likely socialize together and find so many new friends this way!
Whatever your job is in a ski resort, you’re never far from someone who would love to be your friend and ski buddy! This is hands down my favourite element of ski season life.
If your season travels mean that you won’t naturally be spending lot’s of time with the same group of individuals, all is not lost! There are still some easy, fun ways to make friends with fantastic people.
Join a few clubs, the local gym and make sure to be consistent with your attendance!
Even if you’re shy and not very chatty, if you keep turning up somewhere, you will eventually get to know the same faces and less people will end up chatting to you.
Better yet, don’t be afraid to go to lunch in a café by yourself or hit the bars for a cocktail and say hi to the people around you! If you’re on a ski season, the chances are, the person you say hi to is looking for new friends too!
The best change I ever made to make more friends was to become a YES person. I truly believe that positivity breeds positivity. If you can say yes to every invitation you receive, no matter how obscure and attend to them too, people will be more inclined to ask you again as well as say yes to any of your invitations or requests! Let’s face it, nobody likes hearing NO. So don’t say it!
Eventually you’ll build a group of friends. It won’t happen overnight and like anything good it takes consistency to build a strong relationship. Be persistent and patient. Keep smiling and be nice to everyone.
2. What if you get homesick?
There is nothing nice about feeling homesick. It can be crippling. True harsh feelings that can really bring you down. What you want to avoid is this feeling overwhelming you, and ruining your experience of moving abroad to a new country. This is meant to be your exciting adventure!
I remember the first time I experienced serious homesickness. I was in Peru on a school exchange for six weeks to improve my Spanish. I was staying with a host family who I’d never met before. They weren’t the most welcoming of families, and I never did have a lot of self confidence at that age so I doubted my friendships with the other classmates I was travelling with. It would have been really easy to tell my teacher that I couldn't stay and that I wanted to go home. But I didn’t. Instead I reached out to my best friends who were missing me back home, and I decided to make a conscious effort to enjoy my time in Peru. Within a few days my homesickness turned into a love for Peru and when it was time to go home, I didn’t want to leave.
What should you do?
Reach out to a friend or family member who has also moved abroad alone and can relate to how you feel. It’s so important to talk about your feelings of homesickness and when you realise that you are not alone, it can make the feeling easier to bear.
With the help of social media and video chat, you can schedule regular chats with your loved ones from back home to keep up to date with everything that's happening. If you’re planning on being away for a long period of time, this is probably one of the most important ones, and something I am still trying to commit to myself.
Can you avoid homesickness?
Why would you want to do that? Homesickness is a reminder of how much we love the people we are physically distanced from. It’s a natural feeling for someone who is living alone in a new country and it is really important to accept that on occasion, you will feel homesick, and it will get easier as you become more comfortable connecting with home virtually.
3. What if I don’t speak the local language?
The simple answer: Learn it! You don’t have to be fluent in a language to be able to say “Hi, my name is… Would you like to have a coffee with me?” Even if you learn the basics, that’s better than nothing and will help you feel slightly more prepared.
When you decide to make friends with locals you will learn a truly valuable lesson of being comfortable in silence with someone. You’ll also learn that mistakes build character and it's totally ok to laugh at yourself!
Nobody will laugh at you or judge you for learning a language. It’s something people will admire!
4. What if you struggle financially?
Being stuck in a new country without any money is a very scary idea! There’s no doubt about that! It is a genuine fear for most people who are considering moving abroad for the first time, especially those of us who are slightly younger.
Don’t let that fear rule you. Use it to make you work harder to achieve success. The internet is full of fantastic ideas of how to spend less and save more, but if you can, try and get some savings together before you go away.
This issue is pretty close to home. I broke my ankle in December 2020 before I could set myself up with any full-time job. I hadn’t quite found a company that I could teach English for. I was lucky to have a supportive boyfriend who had a job if I did happen to run out of money, but I was also clever enough to keep a stash in my account for occasions just like this one. I lived very minimally, spending money on rent and food only, and I got through the 20 weeks+ of not working before I found a teaching opportunity online with Cambly. Click here to read more about what it’s like to teach on Cambly.
What should you do?
Work out how much you would need to live in the new country for two months without any income and then add 20% extra. Also make sure you always have an emergency account that has enough money in it to buy a return ticket home just in case.
This may all seem extreme, but saving those extra pennies means you’ll have peace of mind and less to worry about while you are building a new life abroad and living not-so alone.
Working online saved me when I broke my ankle. It's something you could think about too. Supplement your income by teaching English or your native language to the locals or online. There are also plenty of other jobs online. Nowadays working remotely is a possibility for everyone who has a laptop and a decent internet connection.
5. What if I lose all my fitness and put on loads of weight?
Many of us fear changing our daily routine and tri-weekly gym sessions in fear of putting on weight and all of our healthy eating efforts going to waste. It can be really difficult to let go of the structure and start accepting that trying new foods and spending days on a bus looking out of the window exploring a new country is more than worth the extra few pounds you might put on at the beginning.
Don’t feel as if all is lost. If you’re going to work during the ski season, chances are, you’ll be busier than you’ve ever been before. While there are gyms in the resort and I do advise that you take advantage of them, even if it’s just for your own self sanctuary and muscle stretch, you’ll also be skiing so much. Skiing is a fantastic energy burning sport that will allow you to enjoy that rum- hot chocolate without worrying about it’s scary high calorie count.
Need to look like an athlete to ski like one? For all of you budding ski instructors out there, health and fitness is very important in our industry and that's why you have nothing to worry about! Ski resorts usually have fantastic sports centers full of ski enthusiasts ready to help you stay motivated to achieve your fitness goals during your ski season!
6. What if something happens at home while I’m away?
This is something I’ve asked myself over and over again, on many seasons, and I’ve learned to remind myself that I decided to leave home to pursue MY dreams and I did so thankfully with the full support of my friends and family back home. Even if you don’t have their support please remember that the fact you are doing something fabulous for YOU is something to be proud of. You are of more help to those at home while you are happy living your best life, even if you can’t physically be there for them right away.
Also, the world is a big place, but it’s surprisingly more connected than you may think. However far you travel, you’re always a bus, a train, a plane journey away and in reality if you were in the same country as them, you’d still most likely have to cancel plans and travel to them too! Keep that extra savings aside for situations like these ones to avoid stress of feeling like you can’t go home if you really need to.
7. What if your new life abroad is a failure?
I speak a lot about attitude towards failure on this blog as it is something I feel strongly about. It can determine your success!
You are brave! You have decided to start a new life for yourself in a new country. You’ve made a decision for YOU. That's awesome!
No new adventure is without it’s mistakes and hard times. It’s an understandable fear. But what if you have the BEST time abroad? What if you meet the love of your life? What if you land your dream job? What if you build lifelong friendships? The benefits far outweigh the cons.
If you don’t take the leap, if you don’t move abroad, you’ll always wonder what could have been.
If things don’t turn out great, don’t feel ashamed about asking for a helping hand from your new friends. Most importantly, if you decide to move home or elsewhere after a few months, don’t worry about it! Don’t let it stop you from trying again in the future when circumstances may be different!
I can guarantee that you will overcome fears. You will learn new things. You will build self-confidence. You will make new friends. You will learn to love everything new. You will appreciate everything you left behind. And best of all, you will LOVE you, because taking the leap is something to be super proud of.
If there's something else holding you back from moving abroad alone, please let me know in the comments below! If you’re currently living abroad and you’d like to talk about it, please get in touch!
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